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Texting: Osborne House Crisis Shelter

Texting Dept: DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently asked my husband to leave the home. He has assaulted me, controlled me with his jealousy, isolated me from family and friends and mentally abused me. We relocated to my hometown where all of my family live. I finally feel safe and secure enough to end this marriage. Now he's out, and I've changed the locks, a huge burden has been lifted. But, he won't stop texting me and calling me saying that he has changed! He has gone for several acupuncture sessions, has spoken with an anxiety counsellor and has Googled for countless hours. It seems like every day he has some sort of "breakthrough" and is calling to tell me he's better. Then, every other day, he's crying the blues about how much he's done for me and given me, and how he wants to come home. He still questions my whereabouts and gets jealous. I told him I'm no longer answering to him and to stop bothering me. He's suggested he's going to commit suicide and has said jokingly in the past that he will kill me if I ever leave him. In your opinion, is he a danger to me or others? One marriage counsellor and one of my personal counsellors told me to get out of the marriage before he kills me. I really don't love him. How can I explain that to him? We have kids, so obviously there will have to be some sort of contact, but I want to get on with my life. -- Next Steps Please! Manitoba Dear Next Steps: Yes, he's a danger, so beef up your protective support team and proceed with the divorce. See a lawyer, get a court order to keep him away, and tell police about the harassment, his state of mind -- and threats towards himself and you, past and present. They need to know he's threatened murder if you left, half-joking or not. And he needs to be notified by authorities -- not just you -- to cease and desist the harassment, including phoning and texting. He should be aware they have their eyes on him. You must enforce a court order by calling police the minute he steps over the boundary in order for it to work. You may want to move in with your family to get some adult males in the household for a time. Meanwhile, totally block him from texting and calling so he can't get through and you don't see it. Do call Osborne House Crisis Shelter 942-3052, toll free 1-877-977-0007 as they have decades of experience. Ask them what they suggest you do, and in which order. The message your husband needs to get is your love is long gone, and this is not temporary. Nothing he can do will change that fact and he should move on. Children can be visited without your being there as the intermediary. (www.immigrantscanada.com). As reported in the news.